Wednesday, November 10, 2010
3ww: The White Bear
I haven't done Three Word Wednesday in a few weeks. Today's words called me back.
*
The White Bear
The bear's belly was slit open, a gaping, steaming hole through which I could see its treasure: two cubs, one brown, one white. I fell to my knees, sword abandoned by my side. Blood soaked the pine needles. My grief was immediate, for I remembered the dream of only last week: the white bear, rising up over me, its roar waking me and leaving me trembling amongst my furs in the dark.
And now I had slain it before it had ever grown to test me. I could never be tested now. I would never be a man.
"I did not know, I didn't know," I cried, pulling the white cub from its mother's belly. Crimson fur, closed eyes: I held the death of my dream.
But from within, a whimper. The brown cub lived! I rubbed the sleeve of my parka over it, and it opened tiny jaws and mewled like a kitten. Standing, I tucked the thing next to my own skin and I ran with it, sword on my back. My village was three miles away. I ran and ran.
From high in the branches of the cedars, an owl watched. And with a blink of yellow eyes, a slow, sleepy gesture, it called the moon, who called to a white bear far away on a mountaintop, muzzle deep in a caribou.
The bear stopped eating. And turning on huge paws, it began its descent. Down the mountainside.
To find its daughter.
*
Thanks to ThomG and the 3WW community. I appreciate you reading and your feedback.
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'I held the death of my dream' - what a breath-taking line..so glad you posted on TWW this week..Jae
ReplyDeleteThis is just faboulous.. I have often talked to Moon and heard from him too.. loved it..
ReplyDeleteI liked this little story. :)
ReplyDeleteNice for today's 3ww! I also love the sense of an owl watching... thats perfect!
So well written, I'm tingling all over, just Brilliant!!!
ReplyDelete@jaerose: Thank, you! It's good to be back. Now to see what wonderful offering you've got for us this week...
ReplyDelete@Ramesh Sood: Moon is a much better conversationalist than Sun, I've found. :) Thank you!
@Eye-shuh: Thank you so much!
@Deborah: Your enthusiasm makes me tingle all over! Thanks!
A totally different take on fairytale Bear stories, a sense of foreboding and mystery here must be the talk of swords...
ReplyDeleteThis had such feeling and depth to in, and just a top-notch ending.
ReplyDeleteOh, wow. Well done, and I like the twists this one takes!
ReplyDelete@Michael: swords. Hanging over one's head. Yep. I get that.
ReplyDelete@Thom: Thank you. I can't always spring a good ending, glad I could this time around.
@aldersprig: Twists! I like twists! Can't always come up with those, either, but I managed this time. Thank you!
This one had me tearing up! It is SO good! It's amazing how an entire story can be crafted in just a few sentences. I loved this one, Becky!
ReplyDelete@Mimi: I'm trying to never waste a word. Hard to do. Glad you liked it! Now here's another one playing out in my head...
ReplyDeleteThis was brilliant! Be careful what you wish for; it may show up at your door, very pissed off.
ReplyDeleteAwesome.Simply awesome.It felt like I was living the story.
ReplyDeleteI specially liked the line-I would never be a man.
Well anyways the father is coming.
~Harsha
One word: Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteIt felt as if I was with you...
ReplyDeleteWonderful writing!
electronically yours
Ah, so there's hope he'll be a man yet. Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteAh, I´m a sucker for fairy-talish, mythical stories!
ReplyDeleteYou´ve created such a nice rhythm in this one, it´s almost as if I can hear the drumbeat underneath; the boy´s heart pounding, him running and the big bear´s purposeful stride. Loved the sentence about the big bear btw, I can see him, I can feel his heaviness!