Saturday, July 31, 2010

Brain Harvest -- mouthfuls of greatness; Tigers wanted

Enter my new favorite online mag (it's love! love I tell you!), Brain Harvest.

Because you're bunch of jaded bitches who have seen it all, I will generously give you two links:

Barrenness by Jackie Jones -- and really, consider that title, but then stop, because you're about to go down the banzai slippery slopes of Fuhrer-induced spec fic that will wreck The Sound of Music for you forever. Or, in my case, make you nod and say AHA! Those curtains are just like the ones my grandmother had in her trailer!

Speaking of slippery: H.P. Lovecraft's Stellar Seafood Chowder by Alexander Lumans. This is exactly what it says. Now, by remarkable coincidence, I am drinking Sam Adams at this exact moment. I know what you're thinking. Obviously, the Old Ones want me to drink more. Listen, I agree completely. I still have a cake to bake. If you have never baked and drunk booze while doing so, then you have missed out on the magic of baking.

The glow was gone from spec fic, or so I had thought. I am filled with renewed adoration for the genre, although honestly, all I have written today is some pony play flash fic.


Your first warning notice: my birthday is in approximately six weeks. After spending the first six months of the year in a cephalopod haze of tentacles and ink, I have moved on to tigers. Not just the little flash fic I recently posted here, but there is more to come. SOME OF IT HAS BEEN ACCEPTED TO ACTUAL PLACES, YO.

But here's the deal. I love tigers. I think it would be cool to get a white tiger airbrushed on the side of my van, or maybe I could get a porcelain tiger prowling down the side of a green hill, snarling. But what I would like from you (and notice that I never shy away from asking things of my outrageously talented readership; it's one of my more positive traits) is tiger fic. Anything to do with tigers. Anything! In fact, you write me tiger stuff, I will post it here or link to wherever it is you've got it posted. Every day. With accompanying tiger art from around the interwebz.

You know you want to write something about tigers. Maybe you could tell me about that Hispanic guy you fucked in your car who had a tiger tat across his shoulders. Or that time you dreamed you were a tiger and then you woke up and your pomeranian was missing. Or a story about a tiger who was a vegetarian. Oh! The possibilities!

So remember: September is Tiger Month. If I have to, I will write them all myself, but don't make me do that because god knows what would happen. Also, pirates acceptable.*


I do love Blogspot's new Stats feature, and I love the new posting. It's cleaner and easier, and the stats, well, they blow LJ's little stats out of the water. Love to see where people are coming from, even when it's obviously by accident, LOL! So to those who are stopping by, Hello! And to Blogspot in general: Kudos, dears. Kudos.

*pirate-tigers FTW, yeah?


  1. Barrenness... Yes and even yesser. The ending especially. Not a note. Love it! ... and I just got the title.

    The other... finger puppets FTW!! Ha!! Just made lobster last week. Well, lobster tails. My first time. Not a fan of lobster. Slicing the cartilage open down the tail... finding little lobster legs stuck to the back of my hand. *shivers*

    Did I hear you say cake?!? Of which variety, missy?

  2. LOL! I just got Barrenness at the end, too.

    I love lobster, but like you, find actually cooking it a not-so-pleasant experience.

    The cake story goes like this: I found a cake on one of my very favorite baking blogs, Not So Humble Pie. It was rapsberry lemon cake:

    Ms Humble makes fabulous stuff, and I knew that this cake, with its trio of my three favorite flavors, would knock my socks off. But who has the time to make this thing from scratch, I ask you? WHO? WHO? (is that Hedwig?)

    So I got a bright idea. Bear with me.

    Boxed lemon cake (Duncan Hines)

    Raspberry preserves (with seeds, nom, but not your raspberry preserves, which were da bomb)

    Frosting: vanilla buttercream with toasted coconut

    Much easier, yes? But then I had to sleep off my beers and now I am just waking up so maybe tomorrow. :)

  3. Whoa. THAT sounds delish!!!! Let me know how it turns out!!!! nomnom...