Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Antiquing in Purgatory

My ringtone -- Make it so!


This is the most fabulous thing ever. EVER.

BTW, I have not yet seen the season finale of GoT, so don't say anything about it. We'll be watching tonight, I do believe, if B can be dragged away from smoking an Ashton in the garden. He does love his Ashtons.

We didn't see the finale because we've been gone on a little break. We went to Bay City, MI and stayed at the Historic Webster Inn. One of the most memorable experiences we've had, absolutely superb from the exquisite breakfasts to the homemade cookies we found on our bed each night. We stayed in the Magistrate Room, chosen for its skylights. I've got a secret love of skylights, and to be able to sleep under two of them (there were four total in the room) was a delight. A DELIGHT.

(The other couple staying at the Inn said everything was a "delight, superb, exquisite," at all times. We couldn't figure out if they were genuine or found themselves a hoot. I'm inclined to believe that the gentleman, at least, thought himself hilarious. He had that clean-cut, preppy college look and attitude which suggests one comes from a privileged background and finds amusement in the toiling of others)

Other than eating cookies and staring up at the sky? Well, we drove/meandered around, scoured antique shops for their most bizarre items, and looked at houses. And what, you ask, was the most bizarre item we found?

Not the album cover with two 70's dorky lovebirds next to the huge letters proclaiming, "IT'S CALLED LOVE." Not even close.

The unintentionally satanic Mr. and Mrs. Snowman that freaked the hell out of us when we came upon them on a shelf? Nope. (Unintentional? One wonders...)

What about the 1891 wedding photo of two people that I am POSITIVE are actually aliens?


It's this:

Someone had the vision -- the vision -- to create a series of three-foot-tall scenes depicting barn animals getting ready for Christmas.

Using actual animals.

I have to wonder if they thought creating a Nativity scene with taxidermied donkeys and sheep was crossing the line, or just too much work. The scale, you see. And where would they get a baby Jesus?

So they used little hens and baby goats and for the sheep -- those lucky sheep! -- just wool glued to a black sheep form. And lots of little yellow fluffball chicks. Those damned chicks were in every scene. Helping make the popcorn garland. Stringing lights on the tree. Getting in the way of the sheep's knitting. Tucked under the enormous fake plastic icicles that looked like Yeti snot.

It was a magical interlude in our lives, friends. How we wish you could all have been there to share it. Here are two of the sheep, one sitting upon the other's head in order to reach the highest plastinated branches of the tree. Almost all the pictures I took with my camera phone but this one came out with some sort of fog over them. As if the spirits thought I was the one finding inappropriate amusement in their domain.

next Christmas, I want to sit on someone's head while decorating the tree! wait, did I say that aloud?

Good day, Sirs and Madams!


  1. Oh, dear! You and antique shops is a bad idea! You always manage to find really creepy stuff: alien photos? And those animals?! What´s with those animals? Who did that? And why? Please, please don´t tell me you have photos of actual dead people! I know they used to take them like a hundred years ago and I realise you would totally love to find them in a dusty corner of a strange antique shop... *shivers* It freaks me out! I´m not coming to an antique shop with you! Ever!

    Other than that I approve of your lovely trip =)

  2. I looked for photos of dead people. I don't know; maybe they keep them in a special vault or something.

    It was a lovely trip. :) There was wine and cheese every day at five. I think you and I could totally get into that. :)

  3. Yes, totally! I´m a wine and cheese kinda girl, I wish more people would get that...

    (where would you keep those photos? seriously? over tthe bed? behind the bathroom mirror? imagine going to the toilet in the middle of the night and be greeted by DEAD PEOPLE! So much worse than creepy ghost from heartshaped box!)