Lists

Here is a list of things I did today:

1. Groomed three dogs. I don't want to talk about it. Okay, but all I'm saying is that I was drenched in sweat. Drenched. The next time you think, "Man, I am drenched with sweat," I want you to stop and ask yourself if you are grooming-in-a-non-air-conditioned-truck-in-85-degree-weather-three-huge-dogs-omg-my-panties-are-stuck-to-my-buttocks sweaty. Are you that sweaty. If you aren't, shut up.

2. Called my sister and told her about Brittany Murphy's dead husband, who I am convinced had something to do with Brittany's death.

3. Did not get into an accident while navigating orange barrels on a narrow street while doing the above listed item.

4. Was passive-aggressive with my other half, thus forcing him to make tacos on his own. I don't feel bad about this. You can't make me.

5. Bitched about my slackass neighbors.


Things I did not do today:

1. Was not an emo little bitch. People need to put on their big girl panties and suck it up.

2. Go to the mall, have three margaritas on the rocks in the Ruby Tuesday's attached to the mall, and then go shopping while tipsy, which is so much fun. It's amazing what you buy when drunk. I should've done this today, though. Beats #1 on the first list.

3. Write a haiku. This is sad. Even though I am terrible at them.

4. Get my ears re-pierced. It's been so many years since I wore earrings, that the original holes have closed up and my beloved refuses to ice my lobes and jab me with a needle, which if he asked, I would gladly do for him. I would pierce anything on him if he asked. This is also sad -- well, both parts, but mostly because I was pierced at 11, after begging desperately for ages. I actually remember it very well, as my sister and cousin went as well, and I didn't cry, but my sister cried a little bit and omg my cousin bawled like the little baby she is. FFS.

*

Outside the land of lists, I finished a chapter and it makes me happy. I've been writing them in groups of four, because -- because I have my reasons. *looks shifty* But one is done, and then there was another one that I wrote during the week I thought I should never write another word again forever and ever and ever, and I finally looked at it with a fresh eye and although it didn't totally suck, it needed some serious polish. I'm nearly finished with it, and I like it. Then I need to write the ending of the next one, which shouldn't take too much time. The fourth of this group is currently unstarted, but that's okay. It's all working out.

And also I have written a zombie story. Very excited! It's not your typical zombie story; at least, I don't think it is. I hope it isn't. I hope it works. We'll see. I did see a cute picture today of zombies chasing a cupcake.