Thursday, March 29, 2012

New: Take Her By The Heel now up at Nontrue

I've had a lot of bad sex in my time. I've also had some fantastic sex, but since I've written enough erotica to give Rick Santorum a heart attack three times over (yes, Mr. Santorum, women like porn), I thought it was time to give the other side its due.

Before you read Take Her By The Heel, keep in mind the following: I absolutely wrote a character based on actual people. Any resemblance to men living or dead is completely intentional.

And a piece of unasked-for advice: Skinny dip at night. Feel a guy up under the restaurant table. By all means, sit in the back row of the movie theater and make out during terrible movies, and learn how to unzip a zipper quietly. Put a big blanket down on the sand before you start getting crazy at the beach. Sand in sensitive areas is no fun. And above all, give as good as you get. Especially if you're sleeping with me.

This is the GTA version of "Dance Hall Days," but it's still awesome.


  1. So sad and so much fun! I love your/her thinky thoughts during sex! And the recognition factor is hilarious!

    This! (Still this I have to add =) )

    ”A sci-fi nerd with Revlon lips and a distinct lack of language in the bedroom.” BWAHAHAAA! Speaking of recognition factor… (I actually remember analyzing the consequences of Asimov´s robot laws once during boring sex)

    ”Well, Mordor ain’t crumbling and he is currently engaged blowing into my belly button.”

    ”I’m not thinking that this guy remembers much from high school geometry, and I wonder if I’d scare him off if I suddenly started belting out, “Isosceles, radius, Pythagorean theorem, hut!”

    There´s an abundance of stellar punchlines in this story – awesome!

    ”…because when you’ve got a flabby stomach and you can never get your hair to look right, this is the kind of guy you get. The one you deserve.” OMG! Miss Steinem does not approve!

    And hey, don´t be absurd, you haven´t written enough erotica by far! In fact, you need to practise more! You should do it often and with dedication. And I´ll support you by reading it. Of course.

  2. I hear you on the sand. Good advice is good advice.

  3. That's a killer story, Becky. Asuqi nailed the line re-cap, which I'm in full agreement with, and then some. (Even though I'm now second-guessing much of my misbegotten 20's.)

  4. Sadly, I just realized I've not been receiving comment notifications. So...

    Thank you all for reading. And Chris, don't worry. As a general rule, enthusiasm makes up for lack of experience. Your twenties were probably loads of fun for all parties involved. *g*