There's a belt with a padlock on the end of it, perfect for swinging against men's skulls. Just wrap one end around your fist, feel the weight of the lock, hanging there, waiting. Waiting.
Waiting for you to read Recording, the fifth entry in Chris Allinotte's 9 Days of Madness. My swing of the belt.
It's criminal how good the stories have been so far. Criminally insane.
P.S. If you don't like this one, just wait. I've got one coming out soon about my clit. I'm not kidding. And men, you better know where it is. Not mine, specifically. But as a general rule, you ought to know your way around your lady's private parts. WE WILL DRAW YOU A MAP IF NECESSARY. And Jesus Christ, is it necessary for some of you.
Those gentlemen who are smiling smugly right now, having pleased the ladies whose knickers they've got into, I salute you. Thank you so much. Believe me, the favor will be returned.