Wednesday, October 13, 2010

3ww: The Grove

Hello! It's Wednesday again! My Three Word Wednesday piece:

The Grove

"I can absolve you of all your sins," hissed the snake.

"Look, I'm not falling for this again." Adam crossed his arms and stared into the orchard.

"Are you referring to that silly apple incident? Merely a little missscommunication." The snake twisted around the branch, dipping it with his weight. Olives thunked to the ground below.

"Miscommunication? Sure, and now I've got to wear pants all the time and try to do good deeds." He glared over his shoulder at the snake. "You really fucked things up for me."

"What about me?" said Eve. "I've got to bear big-headed babies. You try doing that without massive amounts of drugs."

"Oh, is it painful? Are you sure that isn't your massive guilt?" snapped Adam.

"What guilt? Over sharing a piece of fruit with you?"

"I was talking about the bj you gave Tom outside Red Lobster last month. Oh! Don't look at me like that! Did you think I didn't know?"

Eve shut her gaping mouth. "What did you expect? It was the first one I'd seen in months."

"Blaming this on me? Because I don't want to sleep with you?" He laughed, short and hard, and said to the snake, "You try keeping it exciting after a few thousand years. Hell, ten years."

"I did try!" said Eve.

As their squabbling went on, the snake thought, Humans. Ridiculously easy prey.

"Ahem. I said, AHEM." He waited until they were both looking at him. "Have we forgotten why we're here? I'm offering you the opportunity to start over. Cleanse your souls, be free of sin, and so on and so forth."

"So... we could get into heaven?" asked Adam.

"Something like that," muttered the snake. "Yesss. All you have to do is eat an olive, each of you. So? Who's in?"

"I don't know..." said Adam.

Eve pushed Adam out of the way. "I am." She plucked an olive from the branch.

"Tut-tut! One from the ground, please." The snake watched her pick up a fallen olive. Adam snatched one up as well. They stared at each other for a moment and then popped the olives into their mouths.

"Ew," they both said.

"Ew, indeed," said the snake. And with a very un-snakelike smile, he watched as their faces contorted with horror, and they began to twist and curve, growing talling, branching out, their flesh silvering and turning hard, their screams eventually muffled by layers of bark, mouths frozen in eternal Os of terror. He dropped to the ground between them.

"Your souls are now cleansed. You are free of sin. When you die, you will undoubtedly get the keys to the kingdom. Of course..." he hissed, winding around their slender trunks, "Olive trees live a long time. Thousands of years, possibly. Unlesssss someone comes along to cut you down. Burn you. Well, I must be going! Enjoy the purity of your new state."

He slithered off through the tall grass, humming a little snake song, and then the grove was once more silent.

Thanks for stopping by and reading!  


  1. Expertly done! Characters, setting, effortless as a snake weaving through the words..Jae

  2. Ooh! Clever! Me likes. I was just dying to find out what the snake was up to....Adam and Eve's squabbling was so funny!

  3. Very funny! Such a naughty bequiling snake! Love the line "I've got to bear big headed babies. You try doing that without massive amounts of drugs"

  4. Yes, really clever and brilliantly done! I loved it. :-)

    My 3WW - Spotlight.

  5. Full of wit and taboo...perfect!

  6. Thank you so much, everyone! I'm pleased to have entertained you.

  7. Wickedly good. I am just in awe of the writing here. Simple, but you hold the tension of the situation, all while moving the story forward. Such a clever idea, and the ending is quite perfect.

  8. I came here mostly by accidentOctober 14, 2010 at 9:02 AM

    gosh, wonderful. I was told to check the Three Word Wednesday entries (something I had never heard of before, I'd like to point out) this month - and now I think I know why :)

    This story bears more than I could put words to it, so I'll keep it simple:
    At first I was intrigued, then I was amused, then I was worried and lastly I shook my head and thought there's more truth in it than the lightness makes you believe.
    If you know what I mean. Probably not.
    Well done!

  9. Hello, Accidental Reader. :) Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to let me know what you think. "there's more truth in it than the lightness makes you believe" -- actually, I might know what you mean. It's something I actively try for. So, from the bottom of my heart, Thank You. Very Much.

  10. Such a very fine collection of characters! I love that it´s funny and at the same time has more serious, deeply human undertones - yes, we will repeat our mistakes over and over again.

  11. Very funny...wonderful the characters... :)