This week, "Letters From the Egg Carton" drops. Many thanks to editor Joseph Quintela for his hard work and razor-sharp insight, and also to photographer Deena Acquafredda for her cover shot. I'm the last chapbook out this year from Deadly Chaps, and there will be a whole new line-up in 2011.
You can buy it shortly, but perhaps you'd like to win a free copy? All you've got to do is leave a comment to this post. Comments are screened and not visible, and I'll be putting names in a hat for Bob to pick. If you've got an LJ, it'll be the same thing over there. Make sure you leave an email, so I can contact you and ask where you'd like it sent. I'll ship anywhere. Starts today, ends Wednesday night, Oct. 20th at 8 pm, EST.
More free stuff: Last week, Killer Chicks interviewed Le R. I loved their blog so much, I followed. And am I glad I did. This week, they're having their first contest, and they're giving away Amazon gift cards. This translates to me as: FREE BOOKS OMG OMG OMG I COULD GET FREE BOOKS!!!! So, yeah, I entered. :) And you can too! Find out about it HERE. Scan the comments if you want to read my entry.
I entered that piece because my first one was too long -- I've submitted it somewhere else; we'll see how that goes. But look! I have a third attempt! Because I like things done in threes!
We’re in the back of the meat department, but there’s no meat. It’s just all stainless steel and white tile. Keri says the meat is in the walk-in. This is just where they prepare it. I tell her I want to see it, all that meat stacked up, but she hops up on one of the tables and lights a cigarette and says maybe later. It’s cold, and pretty soon, I’m ready to leave. Plus, the meat department is not as cool as I thought I would be.
“Let’s go. I’m freezing.”
“Wait,” she says. She pats the table. “Don’t you want to…?”
Yeah, I want to. I’ve been trying to get with this chick since March. But when I’ve got my pants dropped, the lights turn off. I turn around and see someone by the door. He’s holding a knife or a machete or something. I fall over, nearly pissing myself, and Keri laughs.
“Happy Halloween.” It’s Brian, the manager. Now they’re both laughing.
“I could kill you both,” I mumble on my way out.
I’m getting a new job. And going vegetarian.
That's it. Stay tuned for further developments. And also: comment! But remember, saying nice things about Bob will not sway him. He's completely impartial.