Vampire Puppies with Mange! Free to Good Homes!

Sometimes I dump some internal combustion engine of despair onto the blog, forget about it, and then start receiving supportive comments, DMs and emails from those who stumble upon it. Meanwhile, I forget to update with, "Oh, I'm all right now! You know how it is with writers. Some days are the pits. Some days are sunshine and puppies." Actually, most days are like vampire puppies with mange, but who can resist those big eyes?

Anyway, thank you kind folk. Especially those who pointed out that Judith of the Lions, which was published by Three-Lobed Burning Eye in issue 22, was nominated for the Year's Best Horror, volume 5, and received an Honorable Mention. Ellen Datlow, editor, has a full list of nominees at her LJ here. Thank you to those who nominated the story, to 3LBE for accepting and printing it, to Ellen Datlow, and to everyone who drops by occasionally to offer a word of kindness. I am, always,  deeply grateful.

This past week has been positively chock-full of vampire puppies. This time last week, I saw a retweet by Gollancz of an article by Ghostwoods, seductively entitled How To Write A Book in Three Days. Really, how can any writer resist? It's like those Top 10 Lists that famous writers put out, their rules and laws for writing. We must read them all and discuss! At any rate, this one is Michael Moorcock's point-by-point method for writing a novel, followed by the Lester Dent Master Plot Plan.

It should be pointed out that three days of writing is just that--three days, about 20,000 words a day. But before that three days begins, there are two days of planning. So, five days. All in all, a daunting task for those of us who, you know, work and have kitties demanding dinner every hour and stupid weeds which never stop popping up. Still, I was intrigued. I mean, this thing lays it all out there, bare bones, including how many chapters, how to plot, etc. So last Sunday, I read it. Mulled it over all day. Got up Monday, my day off, and treated it like it was homework for a class. Which meant that if I didn't agree with something--such as, right off the bat, point number one--I had to do it anyway in order to pass.

So, yeah.

It works.

In one week, I've managed to do most of the two days of preparation work. So no writing, technically, but you must understand that I can't plot a novel to save my life, and every attempt so far has begun with a bang, a stellar idea that fizzled out about the 15-20,000 word mark (or much earlier, say, page one). And yet currently, I have the outline for a real novel with a real plot and a nice little host of interesting characters. Now I'm working on chapter synopses and filling in blanks, so that it actually ties together and I don't go off the rails when I get to writing it.

I have one serious book I've been working on for two years. I'm not touching that. Instead, for this experiment, I picked an idea I've had that got scribbled down in a 500-word passage and left for dead. Since I wasn't emotionally attached to it, I could take Moorcock's plan and apply it without fear of mutilating my baby. Now, however, I'm in love with it, and very pleased with what I've got so far.

The Moorcock/Dent plan also applies, as Dent points out, to short stories. Just scale down the word count (he does it for you, FYI). At this point, I can look back at other pieces I've written and see how improved they would be if I had applied this knowledge to them back when I was actually writing them.

I'm not a lit major, didn't go to college for creative writing studies or anything like that. So whatever I can learn on my journey now is just fantastic. And this has been very valuable. Highly recommended if you're stuck, like I was, or just in writerly doldrums.

And now I've babbled on too long, so I'm off to pluck at the '60s guitar B just hung in the living room, and annoy the cats.

3 Reasons I love Twitter--music, peace, and sex

Three reasons I love Twitter:

1. NPR music, of all places, is where I get some great First Listens. This morning, I was stoked to hear My Morning Jacket's new album, Circuital. Especially loved the title track and Wonderful, but overall, it's just a great album. Comes out on the 31st.

And because I have schizophrenic tastes in music, I just got Jeremih's Down On Me, ft. 50 Cent. That is seriously hot. I hear Death Cab for Cutie's new stuff is really good, so I'll give that a listen later.

2. Yoga every morning is great, but taking that state of mind with me throughout the day can be tough. For some reason, the affirmations that show up in my timeline from @earthservant are little moments that pull me back from whatever nonsense I've engaged in right then, and allow me to take a deep breath and remember that it's all supposed to be. Affirmations such as this one:

I know and acknowledge daily that my path is unfolding impeccably with perfect timing.

3. @AviAnswers is a sex shop worker dispensing advice and humor, but mostly, she talks about her day. She says that when she meets someone for the first time, she immediately associates them with a sex toy. I'm dying to know what I am -- I mean, I'm a #14 for sure, right?

Doc Johnson Lucid Dream Ultra Power Multi-Speed, Waterproof G-Spot Vibrator, Twist-bottom Control Purple, batteries included...

And yes, get it in purple. Anyway. Yesterday, Avi tweeted an absolutely beautiful pic, Fat Model Love:

Just gorgeous.




Yes, I'm back online. Life is good. Is this the real life or just Fanta Sea? I'm happy to report that it's Fanta Sea. Don't expect too much -- the time away from the interwebz was refreshing, not painful, and I got a lot done. Ooh, imagine that: lack of interwebz = increased creativity/production.

We've got new neighbors on one side. They are... very friendly. B is standing by the fence last night, smoking a cigar and holding our big boy cat, Gryff, and chatting away. I was outside with the laptop trying to write (I got one in to Lily's this week, if you're keen to try your hand as well), and I hear all this stuff about joining them for their nightly fires and beer. Ugh. Now I'm going to feel as if I can't sit outside every evening that it's nice, just to be outside and have a glass of wine and write. It's what I do in the summer. Now I'll be "unsociable." People! Not everyone wants to chat! Hopefully, B's friendliness and talkativeness will make up for my lack thereof.

What's that? You want more pics of Gryff on my Twitter? You got it!

Have a great day, you little monsters.

Six, to Be Specific

A Numbre of Goode Things Wich Hath Happen'd To Me

1. Regaining a sense of humor after several severely humorless weeks. This should go under, "Things Which are Bad for my Readers."

2. Got back into the Prediction! Dissection and other pastimes of young girls: Girls Club. Come and join the fun! What can you do with cut, neglect, and syrup?

3. Thanks to the ethereal Madames Asuqi et RR Kovar, my Pagan fantasy fic is turned in. Look, you still have until midnight tonight, and the minimum is 1,000 words. Misanthrope Press -- A rare opportunity, for how many Pagan anthologies are out there? Not to mention that the Misanthropers are really lovely people.

4. I've got a new Sirius radio for my truck! I adore satellite radio. I switched years ago when Howard Stern left terrestrial radio, and I haven't looked back. Book Radio is occasionally good as well, such as when I listened to a chapter a day of Jane Eyre last fall (my favorite book). RawDog, 80s channel, Bluesville... Believe it or not, Playboy Radio is by far the most boring.

5. Six Sentences featured my piece, Genuine, last week. (I'm just catching up) Thanks, Robert McEvily!

6. You may remember that I adored the BronxZoosCobra until that bitch sold out. But never fear! I have a new, adorable Twitter crush! Iceland. @thisisiceland Yes, the country. And if you have something to say to Iceland, Iceland will reply! Yes! I love Iceland. I want to pet it and hold it.

Lalalalala! A lot of boring things, but it's good to be back and blogging somewhat regularly again. We'll see how my May schedule goes.